7 Things about Christian Marriage Not Commonly Preached
As I read through scripture, I wonder how much of the emphasis on marriage we hear about is accurately true. Most sermons and books talk about how to keep marriages alive, to maintain the spark and romance, how to serve God together, how to be a better husband or wife, how to raise godly children. But as I look to the scripture, marriage isn’t really what it seems. Here are some things I’ve discovered from the scripture.
1. Marriage is for a very brief moment
Jesus says that in heaven we won’t be married. In fact, if you look at the timeline of your life till eternity; you spend at least 1/4 of your life on earth being single, 3/4 being married(if you do get married), and then the rest of ETERNITY being single again! If anything, we should learn firstly to focus on how to live as singles in the light of God’s truth.
2. Marriage is overemphasised
Again to my previous point, a lot of our church activities and life is quite catered to family. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not anti-pro-family. I just think there’s this overemphasis that makes it seem like those who aren’t married have a problem that needs fixing. People get issues of insecurity because of this and throwing in a cliche line “all you need is Jesus” doesn’t help if the church doesn’t believe in it either.
3. It is better to REMAIN single
Yes! I said it! Actually, it wasn’t me but Apostle Paul. He himself was single. And He did say that it was better to remain single and serve God. It is true because once you get married, your focus will always be divided. It cannot be helped. My baby cries, I can’t serve or stay in my pew just happily listening to the sermon. It is insanely hard to give undivided attention to God when you’re married. I can’t just drop my responsibilities and go on an extended silent retreat with God. I can’t just take leave and go on a two week mission trip. These things will take extra planing and considerations.
4. Marriage is to serve the purpose of sexual desire
Again, Paul said it, if a man were to burn with sexual desire, it is then better that he marries. In fact, he even goes on to say that couples are to continually engage in sex and only to be apart for a while to pray. It’s as simple as that, if you aren’t married, you can’t consummate. And since we’re on the topic of sex. Sex is like oxygen, when you don’t have it, you feel like you’re dying. But when you have it, you don’t actually think about it that much. Ask the married couples, especially those who have kids.
5. Couples to act like they are single
Again, Paul said that those who are married should be like they were not. He’s not saying to go out and have an affair. What he meant was to live as though you are single and available for God. I know of many couples who have “separation anxiety” where if one doesn’t feel like attending church or serving, the other follows suit. This is what Paul was warning against.
6. Marriage is to reflect God and His church
Your marriage is to be a testimony of God and His church. So when people see the love between a husband and wife, they understand Jesus’ love for His church. That’s why Paul says that it is a command by God, not himself, that nobody should divorce. If you thought marriage was all about you and your spouse only, then you’re wrong. There are greater things and higher purposes at stake.
7. Overemphasis on children
Many say that the purpose of marriage is to have children. Well, that is true but incomplete. Yes, you shouldn’t have children unless you get married, but there are also cases whereby couples are unable to conceive. And then there are cases where orphans are adopted. Marriage allows for children but it is not the end goal or purpose. Putting children as the sole focus of the marriage will inevitably cause the marriage to be dysfunctional.